Why I Recommend Living with Your Inlaws Without Your Significant Other

You think I’m joking, right?

Nope!  I have to admit I was extremely skeptical about how living with Lenny’s parents in New York during our treatments would go – especially since Lenny wouldn’t be there most of the time.  While I love all of Lenny’s family dearly, I’ve never really had a lot of time to get to know them well.  Most couples that have been together almost eight years know each others families very well.  But with Lenny’s family living states away, we estimated that I only saw his immediate family on approximately 20 different occasions before we were married.  That’s not a lot of time to get to know each other well.

So I packed up my bags and we drove out to New York.  It helped out that for the first two weeks that I was there Lenny’s parents were in Ireland.  It gave me the time to get a feel for the area, the house, and the New York life.  It also made me extremely lonely living alone for two weeks with no friends or companionship, so I was grateful when they returned and I had someone to talk to.  And the crazy thing was that Lenny’s mom very quickly became my New York friend.  We went shopping together, ate dinner together, went for walks together, and just chatted.

When I first moved in there were so many questions: did I need to label my food?  Would we eat every meal together?  Never eat together?  How much should I stay in my room to give them their personal space without being anti-social?  Would I need to tell them where I was going every time I left?  Would I need to tell them what time I’d be home each night?

But somehow, easily and naturally, everything worked itself out.  It wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable at all (for the most part).  They were so flexible and loving and helpful, as well as patient considering someone had invaded their space indefinitely.  In addition, their love and admiration of Lenny made me love and miss him more.  It was also nice to finally form a real relationship with my mother-in-law.

There are other perks as well… like Peg’s cooking.  Oh my goodness I ate better dinners while there than I could ever make for us.  She is a great cook and always makes it look so easy!  Another perk, the red wine!  In New York, somehow, the red wine just tastes better.  There were not as many responsibilities – it was kind of like going back to high school or college time which was such a great break.

Living with my in-laws indirectly strengthened my marriage while helping me to form a positive relationship with my in-laws… a win-win situation.  I also ate well, drank well, and got enough sleep – rare but awesome  🙂


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Ashley
    Oct 08, 2010 @ 18:18:50

    I just found your blog off of the LFCA site. I really enjoyed your honest post about needing to be tough during IVF. We are going to be starting our first round of IVF hopefully in the next few weeks. I look forward to reading on!


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