Catching Up

It has been far too long since I last posted.  Let me start where I last left off…

We were pregnant!  It was early October and all of our dreams were coming true.  The next few weeks were a blur of doctor’s appointments, blood work and ultrasounds.  Because of the procedure we were very closely monitored; our Betas continued to multiply and the first ultrasound showed a developing baby and a strong heartbeat.  It also showed a second sac, but it was empty.

Both embryos we had transferred had initially taken, but for reasons we’ll never know the second embryo/sac stopped growing at around 5 weeks.  We were not sad; just as in a normal pregnancy, your body knows what is supposed to happen and something was not right with this embryo which is why it stopped growing.  I think we were less emotionally affected knowing the science behind the entire process.  And we had our baby!  He/she was growing strong!

Flash forward a few months.  I’m now 16 weeks along and everything has gone beautifully!  I have been pretty lucky with only a few weeks of nausea and only four pounds gained so far.  The IVF cycle was 100x worse than being pregnant.  🙂  To be completely honest I haven’t blogged because we wanted the first trimester to be between us; we wanted to make sure that everything was going well, the baby was healthy, and we had time to adapt to the amazing fact that we have gone from having an unclear family future to parents-to-be.

But there is one thing that I think it’s important to stress; infertility struggles do not end with a pregnancy, an adoption, or a choice to live life without children.  Every day is still filled with “what-ifs” and planning, tears for others struggling, prayers for others trying, and occasional guilt over your new-found joy.  For the first twelve weeks every time I felt a cramp, a strange feeling, or I felt really great, my mind immediately raced to the what-ifs.  We’ve had to make decisions about continuing to be foster parents; what do with our remaining embryos, when would we try again?

I refuse to be someone who forgets what we went through to get this, and my passion is still helping others who are going through the same thing.  On the flip side, I am SO thankful and happy that we are where we are and our little one is on the way!  And I’m excited to be back to blogging; I missed writing!  🙂

Have a happy new year, ya’ll!  See ya next year.

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